Facebook Lack of Support for Account Hacks

 Wednesday 3 May 2023 at 10:06 AM I got an email from facebook asking if I removed my email address. I got another at 10:08 on the same email for the same account. I saw these emails within an hour of them  being sent and they had both expired. Someone or some bot got into my account, changed my emails to k****************4 at hotmail (obviously hidden in the message), and my cell. I tried to change my email and searched for anything via their help page to find a way to contact, reset password, or recover my account. Everything ended with a variation of “and email will be sent”. Problem was there was no where to give an accurate email address so they just sent to the above hotmail account of the entity that took over my account. 

In one of my many searches I found a facebook page on recovering a hacked or taken over account which required an upload of a government issued ID to prove it was my account. Now my middle name is different on my ID and my facebook because like many I used a name that people I grew up with would know. First and last however are the same. The first upload of ID didn’t give me anything other than we will email at above hotmail account. SMDH There was a “was this helpful” to which I said no and it brought up a comment box and I explained the flaw in this process. 

On day 3 I found another page and process to upload. That one asked if my email was changed and I confirmed that and it again asked for an ID. This one gave me a confirmation and said they would again email which I assume is also going to the hotmail account of the whatever that broke into my account because there was no prompt to put in my actual email. Again I hit the “NO” this was not helpful and commented asking that anyone contact me on how to fix this with my contact info.

Day 4 I tried again through another page and got the same. In this I also tweeted to facebook twice and DMed them on twitter. No reply. Tried Abuse, hacked, support, help, etc at facebook emails in hopes someone in some section of their support, if they even have one, would see and just tell me how the hell I get my account back. Nothing. 

I have had this facebook account for a long time. Close to 20 years. I have thousands of pics on my page. Many of them exist no where else but on Facebook. Our backups were lost a few years ago during a server crash. I lost 40gigs of pics and videos of my family. Facebook does have a feature to download all of your data but my photos file is too big. I tried several times but there are just too many for the system to put in a file I guess. I never got an answer on why. 

Over the years I have found cousins and other family and friends through my facebook account. It is where we did video chats with the care home where my mother with dementia is. The support groups that help in coping Ankylosing Spondylitis, Psoriatic Arthritis. Groups that were we made and sent items to Australia and other areas’ animal rescues to help with wild fire damage. Knitting and other craft groups who do good works are all through Facebook. I use it every single day for a multitude of reasons. 

My chronic health issues are progressing rapidly. For the most part I am housebound and immuno compromised so no visitors since Covid. Facebook is my connection to the world. To the people I can’t travel to see or go out with or have over for a visit. It is literally my main source of social interaction. As pathetic as it is I am struggling. 

Today is 10th May, 2023 and I tried to find help yet again but got this message

Facebook has no support chat, no phone number, no help desk or support of any kind that is listed anywhere. No one to contact to help. I’m not sure why this person or bot or whatever has done this as no one that I know of has received a message, spam, or seen a post on my account. All it has done is make my life harder and show how facebook cares nothing for their users or the quality of their service. The only options are hiring someone to figure it out but I doubt they would do much more than I have found. I use to work in IT and at ISPs so I know more than average user. I can’t image that most ppl could find the “help” sections I have as they are buried so deep in questions and nonsense. So what do you do if you can’t contact a company that holds so much of your life? Nothing apparently. Do I just say fuck it and let go of all the contacts and photos and resources I reply on? I don’t know that i have another choice. Facebook certainly needs to do better. 

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The other Millers

So I had this memory today about The Millers. I was a Miller but these were other, non-related Millers. At 12 my parents got divorced and I chose to live with my Dad. My mother wasn’t too happy and moved out of our house leaving me for my Dad to come and get. He was an OTR truck driver at the time so it was a couple of days. She also left all of my belongings, childhood things, etc in the house but they were in the attic so I didn’t know. I can’t recall how I got to my Dad but I did eventually. The time frames for these events are a mystery like much of my childhood but at some point he bought a trailer in Enon and we lived there. My step mother was only 12 years older than I was and didn’t want me there at all. At some point she gave my Dad the “either she goes or I go” and I went. At the time, my mother still wasn’t talking to me so that wasn’t an option. I had been going to school there and had met a girl with the same last name on the bus. Not a friend because I didn’t see the point of making those. She was kind but I only knew her a a week or maybe up to a month on the bus.

She lived in the boonies up the road from the trailer park. She told her parents and they took me in. The school didn’t know, no-one really knew. Since we had the same last name no one questioned them signing my papers or what not. I don’t know how long I stayed there but the kept me and fed me. They seemed nice enough but for a 12-13 year old, even one overly exposed to adult issues like myself, it was uncomfortable. I’m not sure if I went straight to my sister’s in Canada from there or if I eventually went to live with my mother or how long anything took but it’s a weird spot in my life that I’m not sure how to feel about. Sometimes I think about how lucky I am that someone took me in. Others it reminds me how disposable my family has always treated me. Mostly it’s indicative of when the being “on my own” started. This was the point where my life became transient. I never stayed anywhere for longer than 6 months until I moved to Welland, Ontario. 12 is too young to not have stability or structure. Most people don’t know what a shock it is that I’m still kicking around. It’s also a miracle I had any parenting instincts at all. Life is weird.

Minor Ankylosing Spondylitis induced existential crisis averted

How does one justify fighting when the fight is merely to exist? Not to thrive or to succeed or to flourish but only to exist. Existence not for one's self but for the benefit or lack of loss for those that care for you. How is one to justify a constant, relentless battle for strength or against excruciating pain? What is key to not feeling a sort of resentment towards those who need you to exist? As of now I don't harbour animosity for my loved ones but I worry that may develop over time. Feeling trapped can do that, I think. 

I am not yet in a place that warrants alarm. I'm just processing thoughts but it's almost as if I can see it on the horizon. It's there, that darkness, bobbing up and down in the torrent of emotions that come with the war against a chronic, painful, debilitating disease like AS and life circumstances that are beyond one's control. The bad days, that are far more frequent that good, are getting tougher to examine with logic and optimism. Perhaps there is a need for a cranky bitch to rant about Ankylosing Spondylitis? See, positive. 

There is humour I suppose in this too. Those in my life that belittle, trivialize, or don't bother to understand the simplest thing about me or the disease destroying my entire body are the same ones who preach positivity and pushing through. It's baffling how some people have zero clue to who you are as a person or what you are dealing with but go on and on about how they can relate and how you should deal with it. In a perfect little snow globe of reality where everything is picturesque and the surface shiny, well you can do that. 

When you live hand to mouth, not leaving the house for months on end aside from medical appointments, when every movement of your body, including waste removal, is hindered or all but stopped completely by the inflammatory disease wreaking havoc in every system, and when you are watching your hands, knees, feet, and face literally become more deformed daily, well being all sunshine and rainbows is be tricky. Tricky, I imagine even for a more perky, peppy, girl who liked that kind of thing. Add to this black cloud concoction a high functioning autistic brain riddled with PTSD and a proclivity for control and there is the rub, or many rather. All of those who see my thoughts as negativity can just not read them. It's fairly simple. If you are bothered by me, walk away because I don't have the energy to appease you. 

Well then, looks like I'm more than existing tonight. Even if today's purpose was just to be miss ranty pants. Seems my point took a left turn but that may be just what I needed. Guess I answered my own question. You just find stupid reasons to exist until a better one comes along. Maybe I should do this more often. 

Value or whatever

Pretty up in my head and thinking about way much. What I want in life is no where near what I can have. This isn't about fancy cars, designer clothes, jewellery, or anything fancy. Just basic things that I need that I can't manage to provide for myself. It would be nice to not have to go with out OTC meds that make my pain less or the ability to digest food easier, a dollar pack of face wash circles. I repaired by bloody flip flops, $5 dollar flip flops. I couldn't replace a pair of $5 dollar shoes. My $60 runners are over 4 years old. Yup that means my biggest splurge on myself is about $15 a year.

I'm 44 fucking years old. I live in constant pain and many days feel that existing in a contestant state of torture is hardly preferable to not. Alas people count on me who didn't ask to be brought into this world so i'm stuck. Giving up the fight is non-optional.

I think things would be vastly different if I didn't lose sight of my value and allow others to do the same. I cannot leave my value, care, wellbeing, and control of my life in the hands of someone else. No matter how sick I am I have to take my life back and find what I let go of.

I noticed that since I leave the house so rarely I am getting a bit anxious when I am out. I don't avoid going out but am not able to due partly to health but mostly that my transportation was needed, thus taken, leaving me stranded. So nearly 3 years I've spend months at a time not going out. Not out for entertainment, enjoyment, to the store, out to just do anything. Not to grab lunch, visit friends, wander around a book store, or to see all of the beautiful things around where we live. Not having a single dollar to allow me to join a friend for a coffee (or tea in my case).

Add this to overwhelming pain (exacerbated by the stress of feeling imprisoned), nausea, isolation, loss of function due to inactivity, and spending every day alone 10 or more hours alone with an overly analytical mind.. makes for disaster. This can have detrimental effects of the psyche, friendships, relationships, a marriage, and about everything else you are trying to manage.

I have to save myself. No one is going to do it for me. I have to change it. Make things right. With no money, no transportation, and little mobility. heh This should be interesting.

Monsters are better than people

Ever since I was a child I have had an obsession with monsters. Vampires and werewolves were always tops but I dig zombies a lot too. As an abuse survivor and someone who would like to believe myself to be fairly self aware, I think I figured out why.

These bits of realization come when I'm ranting and I say things out load or type them up in a post without thinking. Then that AhHa moment happens and I think or sometimes say "Holy Shit! That totally makes sense." When you start to recover (do you recover or just become better adjusted?) from mental illness that stems from not only a wacky high IQ but also a childhood full of trauma you start to connect things. I find these reasonings or explanations for behaviours or trigger reactions help me to better cope with said reaction. My monster love was one of those moments. 

I realized over a decade ago that I preferred horror movie/story monsters to people because of my life experiences. The people that caused me harm as a kid looked like perfectly normal people. They looked like anyone walking down the street and they were monsters. Not the kind I like but as my oldest daughter referred to people that harmed other people or animals, People Monsters. They are scary. People monsters are horrifying. They play at being like everyone else, fitting the cookie cutter of what people expect but they have evil in them. They thrive on harming others. Fictional monsters not the least bit scary once you have met real people monsters. 

My earliest monster memory was at 8 years old. I was in our living room aka the red room. Damn near as ominous as it sounds. See, my mother worked a job that she didn't need to work and with her earnings bought this hideous red fur furniture, white wallpaper with red velvet flowers, red carpet, etc It looked like a 70s (well.. it was the 70s) brothel or something out of the movie Tommy. We weren't allowed in the red room unless it was a holiday. That was my mother's room. Anyway, I was on the floor in front of the TV watching this movie called Kiss of the Vampire. All I could think was that was what I wanted to be when I grew up. A vampire. No one abuses a vampire. heh So from then on when I went to bed I would go to the window and say "you can come in" just in case there was a vampire outside, then I would pull all of my hair off of my neck and go to bed. 

I found monsters way less frightening than the people I knew. Frankenstein's monster was mistreated and misunderstood so I really got him. He was reactive to the way he was treated. Many of the monster stories were about misunderstood creatures. That was me. It is still me. I will forever be more Morticia than Suzi Homemaker.

All of this drew me to the punk and goth kind of people. You see, people with tattoos, spiked collars, odd colours of hair, crazy jewellery, and other things society deemed odd or off putting felt safer to me. They wore all of their scary on the outside. Their buffer from normalcy made them less of a threat in my eyes. I always looked at it as normal folks or those to adhere, conform to societal norms can be hiding anything. Yes, I know this is not always the case on either side but that is where I found my comfort. Now, at 44 I still prefer people that are misfits, different, or unconventional. If some one is sugary sweet or claims to be all good or looks super normal I proceed with more care. 

Pride and discovery

Yesterday the SCOTUS gave an historic ruling for same sex marriage. Legalizing Same Sex Marriage in all 50 states. I am a dual citizen of both the US and Canada (who made it legal 10 years ago) but I identify more with the Canadian mind set but have great pride in what America can be. Yesterday's ruling made me very proud. As proud as the backlash of conservative heads exploding saddened me.

I am accused of being intolerant of extreme righties or religious fundamentalists. My being intolerant of intolerance is not a war on your right to beliefs people. I cannot relate to those who wish to oppress or deny basic rights to others. My problem isn't that I don't like people who disagree with me or do not share my opinions. I have many friends and family with opinions, beliefs, views that differ from my own. My problem lies in how I define being a force for good in the world. If you feel threatened by another person's affection for someone, think your faith system is the only one that matters, if you believe that others should be neglected, denied rights, restricted, or punished for doing, being, or loving differently than you think they should then you are probably not a force for good in the universe. This is not to say that you can not believe as you wish and if you believe that homosexuality is wrong or gross, don't partake in homosexual sex but you have zero right to dictate how others love.

I have weeded out those who thrive on hate, oppression, and believe they should have the right to govern the lives other people they deem unworthy of rights. People that were friends and family. Now that might sound cold but I just don't see the point of being friends with people behave in a manner that I find abhorrent. I value integrity and compassion. I judge others by how they treat those who can do nothing for them. I value those who can see that people from other walks of life have value and rights. I cannot champion equality, fight for human rights for all, be a positive force in the universe if I am accepting of those who wish to prevent the very things I fight for.

Does this make me intolerant? Maybe.. I am a bigot against bigots. Intolerant of people who abuse animals, children, power, religion, or others. heh

Here we go..

Well, here it is. My first blog post on this wacky thing. I suppose I don't need to introduce myself being as my profile is right there. <----points to left of screen 

A preemptive warning in the profile seemed to be the best way to prepare people. I am by no means making an apology nor do I feel this is a negative aspect to my personality. I am a product of my environment, upbringing, self exploration, and life experiences like anyone else. I would like to think I am fairly self aware which seems to be more rare. 

The universe, (feel free to call this what you like. God, the Devil, Flying Spaghetti Monsters, Gaia, Aliens, The Force, whatever) has handed me a colourful set of cards and I try my best to make the best of it. Suffering a chronic illness has made that quite the challenge.  

I also have a deep affection for all things monsters, horror, scifi, fantasy books and movies. They have never really been scary to me like others find them. Vampires, Werewolves, Demons oh my!  All of that being said, er typed, this blog will involve mental and physical health thoughts, excitement about geeky/monster things, and a lot of bitching about things in general. So welcome.